I can't decied wheter I like TOMS or not. I do think they are cool and I like the fact that some of the money goes to charity but I'm not sure. I will look for a pair tomorrow when I go to Reading tomorrow but the most important garment I need is a pair of white jeans. I have one pair that I love but I forgot them in our summerplace and last time I tried them on they were too big... Well. I'll see if I can find a new pair tomorrow.
Have been on the exercise bike for 33 minutes and I was so tired. It's embarrassing... I need to start traning for real now. Printed out a CrossFit schedule I will start with as soon as possible. I did abs exercises too. It feels so great to be done with it now. I just want to go to bed.
This is a new top I bought today too. It's dark grey and it looks soo good on. I love it. I will be wearing it with shorts and converse this summer but it will also look great with a pair of white or blur jeans. So nice!
Bought this jacket today at Bicester Village. It's my third Belstaff jacket and I said to Mia today; I don't think I will ever buy a jacket from another brand. I just love their style and that most of the jackets are different from other brands. They're so nice! This is more a spring/summer jacket which I will wear a lot this summer. It's perfect and the colour is cool. It's not just black, it's some sort of grey-blue touch in it. Love love love.
I also bought this bag for my mother. All their bags have kind of the sae structure but they look different depending on the size. This one is dark blue and I really like it too.
Well I'm going to meet up with some friends in Oxford. We don't have plans yet so I can't tell what I'm going do tonight. I want to go shopping in Bicester so maybe I'll try to get some friends with me. I'm going to get dressed and brush my teeth now.
Have been thinking a lot today. There has been some wonderings in my head about the future.
What do I want to do with my life?Where do I want to study? What will I study? Do I want to move from Gothenburg?
There are so many questions I'm asking myself everyday, and of course I never know the answer to them. I know it may be too early to even start thinking of those things but they just appear and I can't stop thinking.
I guess time will figure it out for me. I'm still young and I still have plenty of things to do before I need to decide anything.
Friday is the only day during the week when everyone are happy. It's like something magic is happening on Friday's. I'm going to have dinner with the family tonight. Mia have been preparing her curry since two days ago so I think it will be lovely, as always! I'm not going to go out or anything tonight because I just wanted to stay home tonight and be here with the family.
I am probably going in to Oxford tomorrow to spend the day and the night with some friends which I am looking forward to.
I have been running today. 5 kilometers. It was hard and I was so tired. I realised that I really need to start working out regularly to get in shape until summer. I also did some abs exercises. I'm going to be sore tomorrow, but it's worth it!
There is going to be more posts about traning in the future, I promise.
This picture was taken right after my run. Exhausted...
I haven't been updating very much today, as you probably noticed already. It's because I don't really have had anything spceial to write about and like Mia said to me yesterday, - If you don't know what to write, then don't write anything. I agree, but sometimes I just like to write about things and then post them here but I don't have anything reasonable in mind so I just thought I could have a day without "blogging" very much.
But what's up really? Hmmm.
I'm not going to do anything special tomorrow either because I need to stay home. Lucy (the family's hairdresser) she is going to be here tomorrow and she didn't know if she got time to fix my hair (it got a little yellow when I tried to dye it before my dad's birthday) but I needed to be home in case that she does have the time for it. I hope so!
That's about it. I will write more tomorrow. I have some things that I've already written but I need to go through them before I post them so I'll do that tomorrow.
This is a picture from Austria two years ago. I miss skiing.
No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you'll find the positive side of things.
I feel great. There is nothing that's bugging me right now I just feel great. It's not like I usually feel down or anything it's just that I always feel like something is bothering me but right now? Nope, not at all.
It's starting to get warmer outside. I'm living in England.
My mom is getting better. My dad emailed me about some golf things that he fixed for me. I live with a wonderful family.
I don't want you all to think that I have a perfect life but right now it feels like it.
I have been here for one week tomorrow. Actually it feels like I never went home the first time, but obivously, I did. I have not been thinking of home at all. I think it's because I feel like this is my home so much. Last time I stayed here was for two months and I was never homesick. Maybe I've just learned how to stay positive and look forward to things in an other way but I don't think so. I just don't think I miss home. I miss my family, friends etc. etc. but I don't think I miss Sweden or Gothenburg. It feels like I belong here in some way. I'm happy that I feel like that.
Woke up and made me some breakfast. Hardboiled eggs and some Special K with a banana. Got dressed and took the bus in to Oxford. Went to my old school to print out some CV's of mine. Handed them in to some restaurants and then I met up with John. He was going to do some kind of boat thing which I was not really interested in so I took the bus to Abingdon and got a ride home from there. It has been a lovely day. The weather has been great and it still is. Feels almost like summer.
What do you think of the new structure here? I like the colours and the fact that it's very simple. I also like that you can find all the different categories at the top. Just thought it could be a good idea to renew it a bit. Hope you like it!
Some people say that they never give up, that giving up is something that weak people does. I wouldn't. I mean, I could say that I don't like to give up and I always try really hard, but at some point, you got to give up.
If you never give up, you never know how things could've been if you would've.
You can always see a bright side in everything you do. Giving up is sad and you feel kind of weak but it's not like you always will feel that way and people wont judge you, even though you thought they would.
I gave up once. That changed my life and it was not in to something bad. It was the other way around. I gave up living in America. Something that had been my dream since I was 11 years old. I felt weak and I was sad, but I couldn't fight anymore. I thought everyone was going to judge me and look down at me, but they didn't. They understood and they were there for me. The thing is that I didn't know what I wanted, and when I did, tt was too late. I was so confused and I made some wrong dessions but it is as it is and I am so happy that it turned out this way.
Woke up and looked out through my window. SUN SUN SUN. Went outside, but it was still quite cold. Doesn't really matter to me because I am so happy that it's sunny. I'm sure it's going to be a great day! I feel a lot better today too. Just a little coughing but my sore throath is gone. WIIEEE.
3. What have you done today? I had lunch in Oxford. Went shopping and went to John's house and met up with his friends.
4. What film was the last one you saw? Eurotrip.
5. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? Which one do you prefer? Summer.
6. Are you obsessed with anything? Not really. Maybe my mobile phone.
7. Describe the place where you are right now. I'm in my bed in Oxford, England. On the floor because I'm sleeping on a mattress for the moment.
8. Name three things we don't know about you. 1. I'm a thinker, really. I think and analyze everything over and over. 2. I'm a bad liar. 3. I'm very stubborn.
9. When did you wake up today? Around 9 o'clock.
10. What's your favorite holiday? Either christmas or midsummer.
11. If you got to describe a perfect day, how would it look like? I could sleep until I woke up by myself. Have a nice breakfast. Eat lunch in a restaurant, probably pasta. Sit in the sun and drink coffee and then have dinner in a nice restaurant. A steak with bearnaise. lol. I love food.
12. If you got to choose, where in the whole world, would you like to be now? Where I am. I am so happy here.
13. Name a place in the world where you went but not want to visit again. I don't know. All the places I've been to have been nice.
14. How do you want to live when you're retired? I want to live in a big apartment in Gothenburg. Have a house or apartment in an other country, maybe France. Where I could go during the winters or whenever I wanted to.
15. What do you listen to right now? Not much. Mia and Imogen in the kitchen talking. Haha.
16. Have you ever broken anything in your body? My nose!
17. Name five things you don't want to be without in your fridge? ice cream, orange juice, yoghurt, milk, cream.
18. What mood are you in right now? Happy but really tired.
19. What continents have you been to? Africa, Europe & Nordamerika.
20. Do you snore? I don't know. Don't think so.
21. What professions have you tried? Not many. McDonald's.
22. How do you usually dress? I don't know how to describe it? normal I guess. Jeans and a shirt.
23. What zodiac sign are you? Scorpion.
24. What's you favorite candy? Chocolate I think.
25. What was the last thing you said? Yes.
26. What's you're favorite subject in school? History and english.
27. What store it your favorite? Idk.
28. What do you have in your pockets? 5 pounds.
29. What was the last thing you bought? A skirt.
30. How many times have you moved? None.
31. If you were stuck on an island, what three things would you bring? Water, a friend and a lighter.
32. Are you a morning or evening person? Morning!!!
33.Last film you saw in the cinema? Don't remember...
34. Have you ever got any stitches from a scar? No.
35. What did you have for breakfast? Yoghurt and Special K and a toast.
36. What did your life look like, ten years ago? I was 7, which means I was in 2 grade.
37. Who was the last person who did something special for you? Mia.
38. Where do you put your mobile phone when you sleep? Usually on my table right by my bed. Right now, where the charger is.
39. What was the last thing you ate? Soup and a steak.
40. Are you shy? Sort of. When I don't know the people I am but it usually takes 10 minutes and then it's gone.
41. What's your whole name? Camilla Edith Birgitta.
42. Have you ever been in a car accident? Nope :)
43. What training do you like the best? Sit-ups I think.
44. Do you have any pets? Yes, A dog. Toste.
45. Do you want to marry? Some day, yes!
46. Where did your parents grow up? Gothenburg.
47. Have you ever called the police?No.
48. Are you Swedish? Yes.
49. Do you have a nickname? Yes. Imma.
50. What's your weakness? That I easily get angry and I takes a while before it goes away.
Went to a restaruant named Quod (not sure of the spelling) and had lunch with John. It was a nice place and I liked the food which was something good. Because I am applying for a job there. I'm going to give them my CV and a personal letter on Monday. Hope it goes well.
Bought the skirt from River Island. I love it! Hope it gets warmer so I can wear it without leggings.
Got home from Oxford about an hour ago. Sat down and talked with the family. Mia asked me how I felt and I was not feeling very well so I thought I could check if I got fever, which I did. 38,5. Crap... I am now in bed doing nothing really. Waiting for dinner. Paella. Yummiee. Well. Not doing anything tonight because I don't want t be sick this weekend or next week so I better just rest.
Got a cold.. It's awful. My throath hurts so bad so I couldn't sleep. Started to coughing too... Ughh why do I always get sick when I'm here? Well. I hope it gets better soon. I'm not staying at home today anyway. I have lots of things to do. Apply for a job, looking at courses and write a CV in english. I better get it done today.
Going to take a shower and then head in to Oxford.
Thought it might me a good idea to introduce myself to all the new readers I got this week. Exept from the text to the right.
My name is Camilla Håkansson (obviously). I am a 17 year old girl from Gothenburg, Sweden. The reason why I write in english is because I've been traveling quite much this year, and through my journey, I've met some people that started to read my blog and they are from so many different countries I couldn't write in only swedish so I decieded to switch language.
I took a gap year from high school and moved to the United States of America. Moved home again after two months because of all sort of reasons. Started working for two months at McDonald's and got tired of it. Moved to Oxford, England and studdied english there for a while. Came home and went to Africa. Went to Kenya, Uganda and Rwanda. That was really something special! Got back to Sweden and wanted to move away again so now I'm in Oxford again. I have not really figured out what to do here but maybe work or studying.
If you ask me I would say I'm quite different from other girls in my age. Probably because I'm not in school. I don't do the same things everyday. You obviously think I'm sort of interesting too, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this.
I write about EVERYTHING here. Clothes, my days, music, food, excerise, I make lists, and lots of feelings.
Somethings else you want me to write about? Just tell me.
Mia got home and told me it was windy outside which I also could see from inside so I thought it was really cold outside. Asked Mia about what to wear and she told me to go out so I could see what the tempature was like and it was surpisingly warm actually. If it woulnd't have been windy I would felt almost like a summer day in Sweden. I'm glad it's getting warmer. It's not raining either so it'll be a nice day I hope.
Wondering how things could've been like this year if I woudn't have made the choices that I did. I'm sort of freaking out of the thought that this year should've been something else than it has been and is. I'm so happy I've had the oppurtunity to learn all the things and do all the things that I've done this year. It's probably not the best thing to do, I mean, to think of it like that. But I do. I always analyzes everything over and over again. I suppose that's just who I am.
Stepped through the door and Mia hugged me and said, Welcome home. Felt so nice to hear it, cause this feels like my home now in so many ways. I'm happy to be back!
Had a nice lunch with the girls before I went to the hospital with my dad. We stopped to have dinner at a restaurant on our way to the airport. It was nice to have some alone father and daughter time before I was leaving. I was so bored at the plane, all my music were gone in my phone and I had nothing to read so I just sat there.. ugh. Neil picked me up and drove us home. It feels great to be here again, as I already said.
Going to meet up with John tomorrow (I think) and then I'm just going to be home and relax :)
I have had the worst headache ever today. It's been bugging me all day.
Have so many things to do tomorrow and I'm starting to get nervous. Going to the gym with my papa tomorrow morning which means I will get up around 7 and then start with my stressful day. I'm having Ellen and Kc over for lunch tomorrow. Have to buy some things in the city and then I'm going to the hospital with my dad and then right to the airport in the evening. It will be fine. I'm just so excited.
I have to sleep now but I'll write as much as I can tomorrow.
I haven't really written these kind of things in a while so I thought I could write some things off my head.
As you probably know by now my mother is in the hospital because of Cancer. It's a sort of blod cancer but I don't know exactly how to explain it here so I better just not.
I feel sort of relieved in many ways that she is there, instead of home. I mean, I'm not a fan of hospital's but I do think it's better for her to be there instead of home just because she gets the best treatment there and they take care of her 24/7. They're doing a fantastic job! I have been worried about her and I have been scared but I learn every day that she gets better and she will fight this through. She is strong and I'm so proud of her. Love you mamma!
Some other things that's popping up in my brain is of course starting school this fall. This whole year without school have made me grow and realise things I never even thought of before. I see things in different ways now. I got motivated to start school. McDonald's helped out with that.
I'm also very happy that I have my best friends. Ellen and Kajsaclara. They helped me struggle this year and they always wants my best. We are so different from each other, each one of us, but when we're togheter, we're inseparable. I have lost a few friends since this gap year started, but I have also got so many new ones that I wouldn't have met if it wouldn't have turned out this way.
I wanted this year to be something that I will remember in the future,t and I am sure that I always will remember it.
For some reason other things than the planned ones always seems to get in they way when I'm having a fully booked schedule. Haven't been able do to anything important today. Well. Going to visit my mom now, that's important!
Casey just txted me and said they are out of school in only 40 minutes so I gotta hurry up now. Going to the gym with Agnes 14 o'clock. Then I'm going to visit my mom and I have some other things to do too. As you read in the list. Anyway. I'll write later.
Can't believe it. I'M MOVING TOMORROW. It feels unreal.. Have a lot of things to do today but in some way I feel like it's not going to be stressful. That's a great feeling.
I have to make a list of things to do before I leave. It's coming up on the blog!
I was with my grandma until 3 o'clock. Had coffee with her sister and her husband. It was nice. Got home and started packing. Have a really hard time deciding which jackets I can bring or not bring with. I want to bring them all :( Well. I took a break after an hour and took the bus in to the city and met up with Kajsaclara and Ellen. Took a coffee with them and then I got a ride with my father home. Bought junkfood for dinner but I like it. Haha! I'm not going to do anything special tonight. Just going to lay in bed and watch films. Lovely, if you ask me.
Just woke up. Had such a creepy nightmare. I was in Africa, met up with a boy who was being nice to me but there were so many people who were trying to kill me. My nightmares always wakes me up wich is maybe something good but I just want to know the end sometimes...
I have a fully booked day today which means I don't think I will have much time to update but maybe I'll take some pictures and post them. Going to the hospital with my grandma because she is going on a trip with her brothers and sisters this week so I wont see her before I'm moving. I think we will have some lunch togheter and then say goodbye. I have to start packing today and maybe do some important shopping. I don't know what important things I have to buy though. Probably just some swedish things to Mia, haha.
Wops. My grandma is coming to pick me up just in a few minutes. Gotta hurry!
Have you ever wanted to get your films from your computer to your iPhone or iPad? I have! It's been bugging me that I haven't been able to since I would've had to convert them before I could put them in my iPad but I searched for an app that could do the convert part for me, or just play them without convert them and I found a really good one. It's called Azul and it's really simple to set it up too. The app costs 22kr though, but I thought it was worth it because I'm going to put all my films on the iPad so I wont need to bring my computer everywhere. Anyway. Just a little tip for you who are interested in this.
Threw a surpise dinner for Ellen who's turning 18 today. CONGRATS my best bud!!! She got so shocked when we were in her house last night when she got home. We had dinner and sat and talked in her house for a while. It was a really good night. Went in to the city later on and I got home around 01-01:30 or something. Woke up early this morning because I had to go to my work. Worked from 11-16:00 but it was alright although I was not in the mood for working. My father picked me up and we went to the hospital to visit my mother for a little while, and then we drove to my godsisters 7th birthday party. She was dressed in a princess dress and had tiger make up in her face, so cute! Couldn't stand not taking any pictures so I'll show you. Got home around 19:30 and have been skypeing for a while with John and now I'm going to watch a film.
My dad booked the plane ticket to London yesterday. I'm moving again. Already on Wednsday. Feels kind of scary, but I've done this goodbye and moving thing many times this year so I'm feeling experienced now. It does though make it harder to move away now that my mother is in the hospital, but I do know that she is getting better and I'm feeling relieved that she has people who are taking care of her there.
My flight is departuring from Landvetter Wednsday evening so I do have three more days in Sweden. I have to start packing tomorrow though, otherwise I will forget something. I just wanted to tell you the good news about the ''moving part''. I'm so happy that I can move back to Oxford. I love it there, and I can't wait to see how's spring is there. Mia and Neil has told me it's lovley and I'm sure it is!
Tonight was probably one of the worst nights ever. Woke up one or two times every hour. Had such stomachache that I had to sleep some hours in the bathroom. It was awful. So I had to stay home from work today. I don't have any plans at all for today. SLEEP!
Woke up 05:35 this morning. Took the bus 05:50 to McDonald's for work. It was hard because I'm so sore after my workout with daddy yesterday. Got out of work 15:00 and met up with Kajsaclara. We just walked around in the city for a while and then I took the bus home.
Had some soup for dinner and fell asleep for two hours and woke up 30 minutes ago. Want to go to bed early tonight so I won't be tired tomorrow morning when I have to wake up the same time for work, again.
Just had a shower. Picked out clothes for today. Heading in to downtown in an hour or so. Going to meet up with Kajsaclara and Ellen. Weird huh? That I'm meeting up with thoose two. Lol. I'm haning out with them every day. Not complaning at all though.
We're going to do something fun tonight but we haven't decieded yet.
Well. I have to get ready now so I'll write later.
Went to the gym with my dad early this morning. Worked out with him for 45 minutes and then I did some exercises alone too. Took the bus home and went to the grocery store and bought healthy breakfast. Avocado, kesella with lemonade and cottage cheese.
Woke up around 10 o'clock this morning because Simon was singing and playing loud music. We took the bus and had breakfast at Le Pain. Met up with KajsaClara and Ellen and sat in Capuccino for like two hours. Had coffee in the sun. Lovely. Went shopping for a while and walked to Kajsa's. Had lunch and watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Took the bus home and had indian food for dinner with my father. Tikka Masala. I LOVE that dish! (ofc. take away, my father could never cook such delicious dish). jk. Daddy, I love your bruna bönor med fläsk och löksås.
Anyway. Have been writing CV and a personal letter to a job I'm trying to get at my summer place. I've just sent it so I hope they'll respond as soon as possible.
Going to the gym tomorrow morning with my father. That's going to be interesting, considering that I haven't been working out since before Africa. Well, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.
Have been busy all day. Ellen and Kc were here for lunch and we made hamburgers. Delicious!!! Went to the hospital with my grandma and got home like half an hour ago. The weather has been amazing all day. So happy!
Such a lovely day so far. The sun is shining and I'm in a good mood. Have been cleaning in my room and now I'm waiting for Kajsaclara who's coming here to hang out with me on her day off. Going to see my grandma later. I don't have any ''big'' plans today, other than hanging out with grandma. Well. kind of a boring post but I will take some pictures today so I'll have something to show you tonghit.
Okay, (Mia I'm writing in english from now on, after our talk about it, I'm in)
I'm so sorry that I haven't written anything in the past few days. I don't know why but probably because I've been doing so many other important things since I got home from Africa. Anyway. My dad had his 50th's birthday party here in our house last night. It was fun and I think everyone who came enjoyed it.
Been cleaning the house all day. Went to some places with my father to leave and pick up a few things. It was a nice Sunday.
I don't have any plans at all for tomorrow. Maybe hang out with my grandma? I want to.
Påväg hem. Herregud vad jag är trött på att resa nu. Hade Ida sjukt tur på planer hit, fick sitta business class för det var så många som skulle på planet. Galet härligt var det. Dock har jag fått någon slags allergisk reaktion för mitt ena öga och näsan har runnit hela dagen. Skit jobbigt... Iaf så landade jag vid 4 och planet till Landvetter går inte för ens klockan 21:15 vilket SUGER. Har inget att göra. Har ätit sushi, godis, varit på toa i typ en halvtimme och gått runt i princip alla butiker... Well well.
Sista dagen på resan idag. Vill verkligen inte åka härifrån. Har haft så himla roligt, varenda dag. Det har inte varit en enda dag jag inre uppskattat eller haft roligt under. Därifrån tar det ju absolut emot att behöva åka hem igen..
Idag har vi inte så många planer. Vi kanske ska åka till ett barnhem för att jag tycker det skulle vara intressant och Esther har aldrig varit där heller. Ikväll ska vi nog äta middag på en italiensk restaurang vilket jag hoppas blir mysigt. Imorgon bitti måste jag gå upp vid 5 eftersom planet går vid 8 någonting. Ska spendera 5 timmar på Amsterdams flygplats vilket nog kommer vara trist, men jaja, sånt är livet.
To all my international readers,
Sorry that I haven't been writing in english since I went on the trip but its just because I have only been writing from my iPad and it takes too much time to write in two languages. I will absolutely write in english again when I get home (I will write about my trip also).
Jag som då har varit i nöd av solning sedan jag kom hit har äntligen fått ta det av den idag. Klockan 10 när jag vaknade sa Esther att det var lite soligt ute så jag gick ut och åt frukost och sedan höll jag bara timmarna för att det skulle spricka upp och tio minuter senare var det jättefint väder och jättevarmt! Solade i två timmar ungefär och nu har jag verkligen fått färg. Hehe!!! Glad är jag över det. Snart ska vi åka på masai marknad och shoppa lite. Puss på er :)